i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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