Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
