Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
His hands were made for my vagina.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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