Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
