I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
vagina is talking i cant
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
