Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
