You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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