Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
