Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
