new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
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all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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