My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
