better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
