glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Randomize
