u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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