If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
