Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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