Plan B is the new Plan A
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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