Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Me too!
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
