just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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