i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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