It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
