Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
