ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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