if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
