her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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