no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
