Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
