It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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