Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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