I feel like abortions should bother me more
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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