i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
