You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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