what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
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i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
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But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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