Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
