I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
