Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
