shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
