I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
