I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
only you would photoshop your dick
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
