how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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