You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
