Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
