I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
