i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
