I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
