My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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