you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
