mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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