It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
