so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
