peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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