Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
