i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
