just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Randomize
