That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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