i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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