we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Randomize
