I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old