Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.

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  (203): there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous. http://tfl.nu/bkt2
  Replies (20) Good night (2318) Bad night (744)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not

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  (678): i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not http://tfl.nu/pxco
  Replies (11) Good night (3040) Bad night (1051)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.

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  (479): he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that. http://tfl.nu/u07t
  Replies (65) Good night (690) Bad night (4156)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...

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  (262): My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here... http://tfl.nu/iwch
  Replies (54) Good night (4511) Bad night (1837)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.

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  (985): At least my shower head will respect me in the morning. http://tfl.nu/vri5
  Replies (32) Good night (4876) Bad night (1170)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.

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  (913): sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train. http://tfl.nu/vfk6
  Replies (24) Good night (11671) Bad night (1344)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Found a pint glass in my snow pants.

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  (810): Found a pint glass in my snow pants. http://tfl.nu/1iqt
  Replies (7) Good night (3145) Bad night (844)
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  (415): View more from California

  i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again

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  (415): i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again http://tfl.nu/roxu
  Replies (5) Good night (2759) Bad night (1431)
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  (818): View more from California

  You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.

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  (818): You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato. http://tfl.nu/nu5y
  Replies (4) Good night (1353) Bad night (1195)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor

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  (574): I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor http://tfl.nu/63e2
  Replies (1) Good night (911) Bad night (1191)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  tell her thanks so much

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  (570): I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences. (484): tell her thanks so much http://tfl.nu/mozf
  Replies (5) Good night (2130) Bad night (622)
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  (707): View more from California

  After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.

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  (707): After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing. http://tfl.nu/fnd4
  Replies (10) Good night (635) Bad night (1083)
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  (707): View more from California

  He better not be in your backpack

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  (707): He better not be in your backpack http://tfl.nu/rf3m
  Replies (6) Good night (825) Bad night (411)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  My booty call just moved 2 min from my house

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  This has pregnancy written all over it

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  (513): My booty call just moved 2 min from my house (1-513): This has pregnancy written all over it http://tfl.nu/2h6m
  Replies (1) Good night (1619) Bad night (538)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.

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  (314): I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become. http://tfl.nu/j66t
  Replies (2) Good night (75) Bad night (108)

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