Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine

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  (816): dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine http://tfl.nu/klxs
  Replies (30) Good night (1168) Bad night (9118)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.

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  (778): Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them. http://tfl.nu/fuhs
  Replies (15) Good night (4711) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.

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  (413): I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic. http://tfl.nu/sxvb
  Replies (80) Good night (31421) Bad night (1148)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Since when do you wear a bracelet?

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs

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  (508): Since when do you wear a bracelet? (603): Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs http://tfl.nu/cgne
  Replies (11) Good night (5732) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I don't have enough holes for all these australians

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  (408): I don't have enough holes for all these australians http://tfl.nu/dq24
  Replies (13) Good night (5927) Bad night (1342)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"

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  (708): did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement" http://tfl.nu/nqth
  Replies (3) Good night (1916) Bad night (1195)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning

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  (856): Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning http://tfl.nu/91gn
  Replies (6) Good night (2130) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.

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  (330): WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL. http://tfl.nu/0dj7
  Replies (12) Good night (5157) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  #1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex

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  (503): #1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex http://tfl.nu/si5x
  Replies (10) Good night (901) Bad night (3181)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.

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  (724): The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent. http://tfl.nu/afyt
  Replies (12) Good night (1622) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.

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  (251): Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling. http://tfl.nu/lulr
  Replies (4) Good night (289) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark

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  (330): my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark http://tfl.nu/b8mx
  Replies (9) Good night (777) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy

  (1-505): View more from New Mexico

  No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad

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  (505): I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy (1-505): No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad http://tfl.nu/sh07
  Replies (1) Good night (568) Bad night (244)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset

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  (914): I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset http://tfl.nu/z0ah
  Replies (6) Good night (936) Bad night (204)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?

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  (217): I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening? http://tfl.nu/9mh6
  Replies (0) Good night (454) Bad night (134)

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