then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
