bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
