I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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