Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Can I color on your dick again?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
