"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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