i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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