Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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